HappyBirthdayLaMonique ♥

BESTFRIENDS FOREVER..



Since 8th grade..

THOUGH THICK AND THIN..

Our son Zion (: [My Godson]

This girl has my heart. I love her soooo much and this post is dedicated to her for her 20TH birthday!

Thats right. We've been bestfriends since we were 13 and here at 20!

We have definately had our ups and downs but our friendship can beyond outstand anything we go through.

She got pregnant, I got sad. And I cried. I was jealous there was gonna be two people closer to her then me.

I actually went like a little baby and told my dad "daddy laquatida is having a baby without me):" He didnt say much lol he understands our weirdness. But anyway I got over it because now we have my beautiful Godson Zion who is just the sexiest EVARRR. We are long distance at the moment but theres not a day that goes by that I dont think about her. I miss her so much its sick.. She understands me and I understand her we just work out. I accept her for her as she does me. I just cant believe we are 20 now. When we get together we still act like we are 13 lol we act like giddy little preteens making eachother laugh hella hard in our pictures on picture day. Those were the good days.. less responsibility less drama less everything.. more living loving and laughing. This post is just to say happy birthday to her. My FIRST real love and my foreverrrr love I miss you and love you so much monkey butt ♥ Kiss Kekoa for me!

UGH!

I'm so bloated. Everyday after I eat ANYTHING I get so bloated and fat and literally look like I'm 4 months prego or something wtf I hate it. And its after ANYTHING I eat like I can have three chips and all of a sudden I'm the size of a COW ): it really sucks man.

I miss my bestfriend. She made a blog about me but it doesnt make me feel better about missing her. I feel like we should still be in contact be it letters, aim, email, anything but she just ugh idk. I understand long distance relationships but not long distance noncommunicating relationships.. what gives ):

I want some candy and I've wanted some candy for the longest but because my husband hasnt deposited her check I havent been able to buy any

WTF WHY MEEEEEE

Day 1 ♥

YOUR FIRST LOVE.

Okay my first love. The first person I told I love I wasnt in love with. I was afraid of him and to be without him. Love was used as an excuse for our behavior and used way out of context. It was an abusive relationship in every aspect. When I finally was fed up I broke up with him and never looked back. Thats how I know I wasnt in love.

But the first person that I loved..

Was R.P. It was the summer of junior year leading into my senior year. This was puppy love like you never seen it before. We went to seperate schools so we didnt get to see eachother on the weekdays only the weekends but you know they say distance makes the heart grow fonder. To me our relationship was perfect. Our dads where friends his dad loved me mine was acceptant of him lol. Our families would hang out on the weekends together it was real cute. I genuinly loved him. We both played basketball and when basketball season started our schedules were complete oposites. I had practice after school everyday and didnt usually get home untill 8 or 9 and he had practice in the mornings. So every morning he would call to wake me up at six and every night I would call to fall asleep on the phone. But it was far from what we were used to. He started cheating on me. And when I would find out it would turn into a bunch of lies and tears from both parties. Because I loved him and I knew what we had I would always take him back. But in Jan I broke up with him because he played with me to the point of tears and I was just done. Only I wasnt done. A couple heated arguements later we were working on getting us back and a month later we were back but it was different. To me it felt like we were together because we didnt want the other to be with anyone else. All we did was argue but no matter what I still loved him. In March we had a silly arguement which lead to him breaking up with me. I did everything I could to get him back nothing matterd. He had been seeing another girl for a month and ended up leaving me for her. My heart was crushed. I was literally depressed and wanted nothing more then to just be with him. Thru the summer we played cat and mouse one minute he wanted me the next he didnt and vice versa but it was only a game and I was only hurting myself because I honestly feel like it didnt even matter to him. I hated him for so long. But I've forgiven him and moved on. He was the first and only love before my Husband and it wasnt true love it was puppy love so I like to think everything happens for a reason ♥

30 Day Love Challenge

I'LL DO IT.

30 Day Love Challenge


1~ First Love (of course!)...what they meant/mean to you...
2~ Best Love...what they meant/mean to you...
3~ Last/Most Recent Love...what they meant/mean to you...
4~ Favorite Love song...and why?
5~ Favorite Romantic Movie
6~ What is your idea of true love?
7~ Have you ever been deeply in love? Explain
8~ Do you think you can be in love with two people at the same time?
9~ Tell us about the first time you ever made love (not had sex)
10~ List 10 people you love and explain what they mean to you
11~ Whom (no names, if you prefer) did you love, who didn't love you back?
12~ Do you believe in zodiac compatibility? Who is your best match from experience? You worst?
13~ Do you believe in unconditional love?
14~ Recreate your most romantic date (a real one)...
15~ Can you live without a love relationship?
16~ Do you believe in love at first sight?
17~ Do you think young people can fall in love and it be true?
18~ Have you ever been in a love triangle...with you as the object of desire?
19~ What do you love to do the most?
20~ Do you believe in Long Distance/Internet Love? Why or Why not?
21~ What is the most romantic location you would want to visit?
22~ Create the perfect love scene
23~ Do you think love and marriage are synonymous?
24~ Have you broken anyone's heart?
25~ Looking back on your life...who taught you the most about what love is/isn't?
26~ If your young daughter or son came to you and told you they were in love with someone your age...what would your response be?
27~ Does anyone you've broken up with still love and pursue you?
28~ If you had a choice between a love relationship and just sex [guaranteed]...which would you choose?
29~ Write a Love letter to your soul mate (whether you feel you've met them or not)
30~ Did this love challenge teach you anything? If so/not...what/why? 

I'm a love not a fighter

And I'm twenty years old and honestly think I'm too old to be fighting but these hoes is testing me and really tryin to take me there. Now dont get me wrong no one is touching me and getting away with it. They just irritating to the fact that if I say something to them we gone fight cuz they're not gonna like it and wanna fight me lol damn man this anger building in side of me IS NOT good at all.

Love it

♥ * ;

Hi my name is Brittani (:

Did I even mention that? I think I might have but I'm not sure which is why I'm saying it again!
I'm 5'2 1/2 (literally.. not pretend)
I'm 20 years old and 13 days younger then my husband (:
Even tho my family has like disowned me I'm a big family person and LOVE being around family
Thus I live with my mother and sister in law and we plan to get a bigger house and become roomies *yeah!
I get mad when I feel like I'm not being heard
I avoid problems.. its easier then facing them face it.
Teaching is what I want to do with my life.. just gotta figure out how to get that started
I owe Chabot and Laney college money and cant go to either till I pay one or the other lol FML
I laugh really  hard about the stupidest things
I cant picture myself actually maturing =)
I want lots of kids, then 2 boys, then 3 girls, then lots again.. idk we'll see
I have 4 tattoos (: one needs to be fixed BIG TIME
I love to paint my nails as well as get them done
I am very emotional
I'm obsessed with prego people 0_o
Disrespect is my biggest pet peeve and I hate grown people who act like they're 18 girl please act like a woman you have kids my age
I keep it real 100% of the time
No one is alowed to mistreat me if I'm aware of them doing so
I love old people (:
I hate old people abuse *pick on someone ur own size!

Thats just me (;

Happy

Even tho I olny will work 15-20 hours a week and making 8 dollars and hour I still feel really good about having found a job. The fact me and my husband are both working is a slap in the face to my mom who thought we were gonna be on welfare and not doing anything with our lives. We decided since my job does direct deposit that I will just have the checks go straight to savings and he can put his in the checkings since his is significantly larger then mine it seems like a good idea to me.

Oh and today we went and got a joint account with the bank. So now I can deposit his checks *score!

Yay!

Officially a Ross employee (:

Oh btw

I didnt mean it when I said he was my bestfriend by default. He is really my bestfriend. We enjoy doing everything together, sharing a life, and waking up to and falling asleep next to eachother every day and night.

Good Hubby

I want the white iPhone. My husbands gonna get it for me after I sell my currant one with the broken screen.. (: yay me! He is a really good supporter and I know he loves me he just has a lot of growing up to do. We both do. He says he's not gonna let me give up on us.. Lucky for him I dont wanna let go of our marriage and prove everyone right. That and the fact I know he is a good person and CAN do what I'm asking for is enough for me to stick through this. Love is not.

I always say love isnt enough. When I say that I mean love isnt a valid excuse for alot of things. If a man beats you, love isnt enough to get him to stop. If a man cheats loves isnt enought to get him to be faithful. So love isnt enough to make me stay anywhere I'm not happy. Sorry its tough love. So in order to make this work he would have to say quite more then "but/because I love you" because my response will almost always be "thats not enough".. I love myself to much let love be enough (:

Thankfully I dont have to worry about cheating and stuff like that. I just dont like to argue. Especially with a 20 year old guy. All that consists of is low blows to try to hurt the other person because ur mad. Thats why we need to grow up. We chose to get married so we have to do it together as a we I guess lol

Smiles

Lots of them today (: I called Ross and the background check came out clean (i knew it would) they emailed me the paperwork and I finished it and tomorrow I call them to go in to give them a copy of my id and ssn and I start on the 24th! You have no idea how happy I am to start working again. It will feel so good to get out of the house =O

Mrs. Lonely

Soo I couldnt pay my $600 phone bill. Well I wont pay it because I have bigger obligations right now. But anyway I dont have a phone. So I have no real contact with anyone but even so I dont even really have any friends.. Like none. Not even my husband as bad as it sounds. He is not my friend. He hurts my feelings quite often. Honestly its because he is bipolar. Its hard dealing with it especially when he's not getting help. But since he's admitted it and I threatin to leave his crazy ass he has changed.. but its only been a day so we will see where it goes. I like to call him my bestfriend because in reality he is all I have. So by default he is my bestfriend. If I had my real bestfriend to turn to I wouldnt feel so lonely. She completely abandon me. She knows she's all I got. But idk I guess I cant really blame her because she has a baby and bigger responsibilties then to be there for her bestfriend at least once a week (-_-) I kinda resent her but I'm overwhelmed with emotion and I love and miss her so much ): I literally have NO FRIENDS. I just cant trust people so I never really had alot of friends. Then when I got married and became shackled to the house I went from few associates to not even that. I have no family. My mom disowns me and my grandma wont stand up to my mom so she pretty much disowns me too. My dad is there.. mildly. He's as there as he can be with me being married and all. I have my cousin. Who honestly I dont feel too connected to. I have no one. No one at all and being lonely in the house all day with no one to talk to but ur psycho husband who one minute wants to be all over u and the next is screaming like he has no sense really sucks. IDK what I'm doing anymore but crying feels really good.. I know that much.

I have a job!?

Kinda but not yet. I got the offer at Ross (bear with me its a job) but they were supposed to email me the new hire paper work and havent yet =/.. Life is just really ugh right now. Husbands working and thats the only shed of light we have in this life right now.. Today we found out that the girl that we sold our car too got in an accident and WE are responsible for the damage because her bitch ass lied and said my husband was driving. Thats 950.58 that we dont have. So she has a choice. She can give us the money.. or the car. I'm not paying for a car that I dont have so we will either get the money or the car. Husbands working on that. Otherwise I'm taking her ass to court for identity theft because the pictures a little bigger then I can draw for you right now. Other then that nothing "bad" has really been happening. Husband has been getting alot of stuff taken care of so I'm happy about that.

I think I'm gonna continue my job hunt tho...

Day 1

Numero Uno day of my "new" job hunt since I've moved to California.. Just applied to alot of places online.. who knows if they are hiring.. I really dont care I just doin all that I can to make this job hunt affective. SEARS was supposidly giving me my job back but idk seems kinda fake just because I can never get intouch with my supervisor and today she was supposed to call me and never did. so FUCK them untill further notice.. anywhoooo. These cramps fuckin SUCK! I dont understand why, well I do understand why but I dont understand why we have to go thru this stupid menstrual cycle AND IM GETTING OFF MINE so wtf! tmi? too BAD! yea soooo my husbands scooter-- yes scooter,  we are 20 years old. Give us a break ;) -- was stollen right out off our back porch by some lil boys hahaha. It was a cool it was like a scooter but had two parts for the feet and u had to move ur body to get it to go.. idk how good of a description that was but oh well u get the point his scooter was stolen LMAO.

Whoa..

So yesterday I logged onto my OLD myspace and saw some of the old messages between me and my ex. WHOA. How could I have been so used and played and sprung and just EW. I was like obsessed with him and he would just reply to my paragraph messages with one and a half sentences that just says a little of nothing. I had old messages between me and girls telling me about how he was cheating and not claiming to be with me and the message after that would be me telling them off for lieing when we would get back together. I looked SO STUPID. I couldnt believe my eyes lol. But it made me feel good about myself because I noticed how stupid I looked and I felt smarter. I felt like I was looking into a nieve you girls life shaking my head wishing I could tell her some advice. But I didnt need to because I know better now. Kudos to me because I have a man who loves me that I dont have to fight with him constantly.. check his phone.. cry for him to pretend he cares.. beg to stop ignoring me. He would never ignore me and if I cry he is ready to kill what/whoever is the reason for the tears. Yea we fight but not for anything serious.. WERE MARRIED, ofcourse we argue.. but about the lack of blanket and who used up all the hot water lol. THAT is my love.. I dont know what kind of life I would be living if I was still with the past. Thank God for my present and future (:

Mother may I ?

Sooo due to the fact my roommate proved to be a stage one crack whore, we moved BACK to the Bay with my mother-in-law. I cant deal with that kind of unstableness. I think that may have been the reason I was so stressed out. I was worried that I was gonna have to pick up more slack then I originally was gonna be responsible for because she had no drive what so ever. First off, she had NO intention on getting a job. If she did she sure fooled me. She NEVER went job hunting and when she gets on a computer its only to go on Facebook. Like really? Get serious. Secondly, She had got her car towed and  needed to go to court because it was a CRIMINAL TICKET with FIVE violations. She didnt go so she had a warrant for her arresst. That means.. If she gets taken in, I will be soely responsible for all the bills. NO THANK YOU. So before it got to that point I did what I had to do to save myself and my future. I got my name OFF the lease and moved to Cali. Now out here it is indeed about 300 dollars more expenive to live. So we plan to stack our money and when we can put a hefty down payment on a apartment OF OUR OWN, we will move back.

Thats the plan for now. We will see how it goes. (:

My oh my..

I'm at the library with my husband and he's already starting to bug me complaining that I'm on my phone too much. Man shut up im on facebook! It's really nice outside today but even still I don't feel like catching the bus across town to submit this resume. I wish I had my car ): but anyway. My birthday is the 12 and I have no sense of excitement what so ever. That's sad. I don't even have an artificial sense of excitement. I really hope my life turns up sometime real soon I hate being so negative all the time..

I wish..

I wish I had a job. I wish I would have saved up instead of being a irresponsible spender. I wish I could of kept my car and drove it out here instead of selling it. I wish my mother would drop her issue and text me back when I say happy mothers day. I wish my hair wasn't damaged from the tiny bit if heat I put on it
. I wish my cable would cut back on. I wish it wasnt so damn hot in this state! I wish it would rain. I wish my husband would act right. I wish electricity was free. I wish had a live in Mexican food chef. I wish I didn't have to steal cable and I could have directv. I wish everyone would at least understand English. I wish I could have had more fun in highschool. J wish I would have focused more in highschool and made better grades. Lemme stop its getting out of control. If only wishes came true dammit!

Update on the job hunt:

Areo never called ): the interview at the hotel went good Im gonna call the guy tomorrow I really hope this goes well. I also have to go to a job interview to be a health awareness coach.. Idk how that's gonna work, lol, but we shall see.

Sheesh I try really hard not to feel sorry for myself but fuck being poor is NOT FUN! I couldnt afford prescription medicine yesterday.. It was like, $6. I felt so stupid telling the lady not to ring them up. I need a job man!

Stressed!

Damn man! Why is this thing called life so hard ): I try my hardest to stay positive but its really hard when everything goes bad. I feel so sad all the time. It takes a toll on my relationship too cuz when I'm mad or irritated it becomes everyones problem and my husband has a bad temper so bad attitude smart mouth and bad temper is a bad mixture. Luckily we can look passed it and move on from the stupid fights.
I have a job interview on thursday and hopefully areo calls tomorrow. That would make my day (: I need a job man! That would make my world ten times better I'm always in a better mood when im working. Just less stress all together.

19 and Married!?

Yes. It was love at first sight.. Literally. Honestly I think it was ment to be. It started in the 1980's back when our grandmas were bestfriends, because of them our moms who were going to the same highschool became bestfriends. In 1991 our moms became prego at the same time and right after we were born they had a fall out. For 18 years we never met untill his Grandma, may she rest in peace, passed away. The day of her funeral is the day we met. That was over a year ago and now I call that man my husband and rock his last name (:

-Mrs. Blake